In all my boo-hooing, up and down roller coaster of a fitness journey, the fact of the matter is that 95% of the time, maybe more, I SHOW UP. I do the work. I strive for better. I’m proud of myself for doing just that. I’m not perfect and it’s hard to NOT want to be perfect when it seems like so many other people out there have it figured out. They probably don’t, but it appears that way to me and I’m so far off the mark and sometimes I let that get to me. I’m learning not to do that but it’s hard.

I’m just a small fleck in the fitness universe. A pixel in the blogosphere and just a mere mortal to all others. I have no superpowers or special skills. I’m a 35 year old woman. A mom who isn’t sure she always does the right things for her kids but does her best to make it work. A girl, yes, there is a uncertain little girl in me that wants the world but is scared. Scared of what, she’s not sure but the fear is there. But in the end, I’m a person who is just trying to live healthy. To be strong – physically and emotionally.

To be someone my kids can look up to. To be an inspiration to others who want the same things. And I hope that when it’s all said and done, all you folks that do follow along get that. That you all truly understand this is my small space in the world for me to cry, rant, rave, laugh, goof off, do whatever. I’m not the next CrossFit Games Athlete. I’m not your next fitness superstar. Just a girl!

Today this girl (slightly inspired by Biggest Loser) has decided to push through, to get the work done and just be the best I can in each moment that I can. Will I always be that? HELL NO. It’s hard as hell. It’s so much easier to be half ass. It’s easy to just not put the effort but I’m gonna try so much harder than I ever tried before.

I think that with that mindset it helped me get through the BOOM Box this morning. Cause guess what? It was the BOOM BOX’s FILTHY FIFTY and it was downright dirty. I’ve never participated in this and it’s been over a year since I started CrossFit-ing. Here we go!

50 Box Jumps
50 Jumping pull-ups
50 Kettlebell swings, 1 pood
Walking Lunge, 50 steps
50 Knees to elbows
50 Push press, 45/35#
50 Hip extensions with green band
50 Wall ball shots, 20/14#
50 Burpees
50 Double Unders

So I somehow hit snooze twice, ALMOST didn’t get up. But on the third time my alarm went off, had no idea! I see the clock and go OH SHIT. I’m LATE! It’s 4:47. Uh I need to be leaving at that time. Not just now brushing my teeth! UGH. I didn’t even know the WOD. Double UGH when I saw it. Go BACK TO BED STEPHANIE! Find your happy place. SLEEP! No, Get dressed and go. You’ll be late but go. And that I was, but only like 5 minutes late. I was GONE and in a hurry. I still had plenty of time to warm up and I was wide awake by then. We went over all the movements and set up our areas. It was go time and it was better attitude time and it was don’t worry about the work ahead just knock out the reps.

Box Jumps kind of hurt this morning. It was cold and all of a sudden I didn’t feel warmed up but it didn’t take long. I really struggled with the first 15 though. After that I just knocked them out in sets of 5. I really didn’t have negative self talk or poor expectations. Surprisingly I don’t think I’ve ever done Jumping Pull Ups either so i had nothing to reference. Those weren’t so bad. I busted out 10, then 5, then random numbers but always more than 5. Done! Kettlebell swings – overhead. I was a little tired and the KB was a little cold. I typically can do this unbroken but today not so much. I did 15, 10, 5, 5, 10. I wasn’t happy with that but it happened that way. Walking Lunges is where I thought I would fall apart. My hips were burning around 30 lunges in. And negative self talk started creeping in because I knew Wall Balls were coming up and coming soon! UGH.

Thankfully Knees to Elbows, which in my case was just get Knees UP took my focus off the Wall Balls. I was actually looking forward to the Push Press and knocked out 30 and then realized this is burning. I put the bar down, rested for like 10 seconds then did 10 more, rested again, then finished. We only have one GHD so we did hip extensions with a band. You step on the band, put head through band and up and down you go like a Good Morning without the bar. This was a great relief and a warm up for those Wall Balls! YIKES! I started off Wall Balls really slow. Someone asked about burpees and I was all “say what??? did I skip that, what burpees. I completely forgot about burpees but I didn’t skip them. They were just NEXT. I just thought I’ll end it all here with Wall Balls, I won’t finish! I wasn’t getting a good rhythm either but once I did, I just took them 5 at a time. I felt like much less cry baby once I got through them and even though I was slow I was still in a good place mentally. I’m almost done. Burpees up next. Burpees party of 50! They just have to get done. UP, down, UP, down and on and on and on. Will it ever end? YES YES the end is near. 50 DUs and it’s all over. I got 30 out of the way before my forearms and shoulders gave out. Then I got 9, then 11. TIME: 31:53 GOOD? BAD? NO CLUE. But after I regained my composure I felt good about the whole WOD in general. I kept thinking I could have done this better or faster but in the end that was a hell of a lotta reps so I’m good. If I was better at Knees to Elbows I might have had an RX by my name but that’s for another day I suppose.

Wooo, we made it to Wednesday! And it’s almost March. WOW! I’m just looking forward to that time change. I need my sunshine in the evenings! And I need warm weather. So let’s hurry up on that. As always have a beautiful day and BE SUPER AWESOME because I said so!